What does Auntie Karen think of your best friend?

Years of it, in one sitting. Who carries the friendship, who coasts, and the running joke neither of you can explain any more.

Boys group Girls group Best friend Ex Situationship Talking stage Crush Girlfriend Boyfriend Fiancée Wife Husband Friends with benefits Siblings Family group Cousins NS batch Uni group CCA kakis Work group Colleague Sports group Travel group Mahjong kakis
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The numbers, a preview and a card, free. Pay once for the full report, or don’t. Never a subscription.

How it works

What you actually get

A report worth screenshotting

This is about a chat we made up, and this is only the start of it. The preview on your own chat is free and runs a little further; the rest is one payment.

EXAMPLE A best-friend chat we made up · 14 Mar 2019 to 24 Sep 2026

Priya and Jia Min

The Unlicensed Loan Shark and the Wrong-Exit Bankrupt

AKAUNTIE
Auntie Karen

An AI auntie with no filter, too many opinions and an unexplained loyalty to Milo.

I have spent the last few days sifting through 74,310 messages of kaya toast debts compounded weekly, voice notes long enough to qualify as podcasts, and one woman getting lost at the same MRT station since 2019 like it is a hobby she is trying to turn professional.

You are not best friends. You are not even a friendship. You are an unlicensed lending operation that has never collected a cent, run out of a Notes app by a woman who charges 2% a week on emotional support, with one debtor who pays in chicken rice at midnight from the wrong block.

Priya, you asked for this. Open the Book.

The Loan Shark and Her Only Client

Priya: The Unlicensed Loan Shark

Priya, you have spent seven years running a loan shark operation with no money, no muscle and exactly one customer. You keep the Book in your Notes app with dates, columns and a running total, you update it at 1am with the tenderness of a woman feeding a hamster, and you have never once tried to collect, because collecting would end the only conversation you know how to start. A standard Tuesday from your side of the desk:

Make my own reportRead the full example report

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Still inside:

  • The Loan Shark and Her Only Client (the rest of it)
  • The Trap: A Debt Built Never to Be Paid
  • The Dialect of a Two-Woman Finance Company
  • A Live Reading: The Night of 11 March 2026
  • The Timeline
  • What You Each Wanted
  • The Ruling

And the rest of what she wrote.

Free with your preview

Cards for your story

Every preview comes with a card to post. The full report adds yours, with the name she gave you on it. The other person is never on a card. Names, initials or numbers, and six colours: you choose when you save it.

  • A red story card reading I got read, with the report title The Unlicensed Loan Shark and the Wrong-Exit Bankrupt and one epithet for the uploader.
    Free with your preview
  • A dark member card for Priya, called The Unlicensed Loan Shark, with one line about her seven-year lending operation with one customer. Her best friend is not named.
    With the full report: yours
  • The same member card for Priya, The Unlicensed Loan Shark, in blush pink.
    The same card in blush

These cards are drawn from the made-up chat above, by the same code that draws yours.

Auntie has been busy

101,757Messages read
9Chats she has read
19People roasted
WhatsApp & Telegram

Questions people ask before uploading

What is Auntie Karen?

An AI auntie that reads your chats and says what everyone was thinking but nobody typed.

Which apps work?

WhatsApp and Telegram. Nothing else, yet.

What does it cost?
  • Free: message counts, a preview and a share card.
  • Full report: from S$8.90 by PayNow for two people, S$14.90 for groups.
  • Groups of 3 to 20 people.
  • Card totals including processing fees: S$9.74 for two people, S$15.95 for groups.
  • Pay once. No subscription.
Who can read my chat?

Your export is encrypted on your device. Our own reader unlocks it in memory, and two AI companies, OpenAI and Anthropic, process it to write your report. OpenAI reads a selection for the free preview and every message for a paid report. Anthropic gets notes about your chat and the messages they quote, not the whole chat. Both are set up so they do not train on it. The details are on the privacy page.

How long do you keep it?

Your uploaded chat is deleted as soon as your report is finished, or within 24 hours if the report cannot be written. An upload abandoned before any purchase goes within 24 hours. Your report stays until you delete it. If you never sign in, it is deleted after 90 days. Deleting is immediate.

Can I share the report?

Only if you choose to. Nothing is public. You can switch on a private link, turn it off, or replace it.

What languages does she understand?

Chats in: English, Singlish, Manglish, Mandarin, Malay, Tamil, and chats that switch between them mid-sentence. You choose the language of the report when you set up. Reports in: English, Chinese (Simplified), Chinese (Traditional), Malay, Indonesian, Tamil, Thai, Vietnamese, Tagalog, Japanese, Korean, Hindi, Spanish, French. Quotes from your chat are never translated.

Is anyone in the chat told about this?

No. Nobody gets a notification. Only upload a chat you are allowed to share, and only if everyone in it is an adult.

Ready? Let Auntie read it.

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