I have spent the last few days sifting through 8,520 messages of 11pm quick ones that were never quick, noted with thanks sent in reply to actual disasters, and a secret second group chat where the real company has been operating since April.
You are not a team. You are not even a workplace. You are a hostage situation with a shared drive, where one woman answers every midnight demand in two minutes while four colleagues stand behind her politely clapping, like a brass band at the funeral of her weekends.
Let's review the staff.
The Org Chart: One Worker, Four Spectators
Raymond: "Boss" / The Midnight Quick One Arsonist
Raymond is the only manager alive who has called a forty-one-slide rebuild a quick one. His instructions arrive between 10.45pm and midnight, like a vampire with a corporate card, and his thanks arrive at 7.52am, so the damage is always done in the dark and the credit collected by daylight. His signature move:
