What does Auntie Karen think of your family group chat?

The good-morning flowers, the forwarded health warnings, the uncle who replies to everything with a thumbs up. All of it counted.

Siblings Family group Cousins Ex Situationship Talking stage Crush Girlfriend Boyfriend Fiancée Wife Husband Friends with benefits Boys group Girls group Best friend NS batch Uni group CCA kakis Work group Colleague Sports group Travel group Mahjong kakis
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The numbers, a preview and a card, free. Pay once for the full report, or don’t. Never a subscription.

How it works

What you actually get

A report worth screenshotting

This is about a chat we made up, and this is only the start of it. The preview on your own chat is free and runs a little further; the rest is one payment.

EXAMPLE A family chat we made up · 14 Feb 2023 to 27 Sep 2026

Tan Family Happy Happy

Tan Family Happy Happy: How Six Relatives Ran a Glitter Rose Dictatorship While the Grandson Reviewed It for His Cousins

AKAUNTIE
Auntie Karen

An AI auntie with no filter, too many opinions and an unexplained loyalty to Milo.

I have spent the last few days sifting through 18,930 messages of glitter roses at dawn, scam warnings forwarded by the only woman in Singapore who has never once spotted a scam, and a grandson reading every word of it in the dark like a man watching his own house burn down on CCTV.

You are not a family chat. You are not even a family. You are a dawn roll call run by a grandmother with a glitter licence, where five relatives salute a pink rose the size of a car bonnet every morning at 6.02am and the sixth sells the footage to his cousins.

Attendance is compulsory. Let's take it.

The Roll Call: Six Relatives, Zero Spines

Ah Ma: "Ma" / The Dawn Glitter Dictator

Ah Ma is not a grandmother. She is a head of state who found the forward button in 2023 and has governed with it ever since, one rose so loaded with glitter that it lands in the phone like a car crash at a wedding. She sent Wednesday's blessing on a Thursday, then took attendance on it:

Make my own reportRead the full example report

The full report is S$14.90 by PayNow for a group, S$8.90 for two people.

Still inside:

  • The Roll Call: Six Relatives, Zero Spines (the rest of it)
  • Episode One: The Reunion Dinner One Thumb Destroyed
  • Episode Two: The Week the Hoaxes Turned on Their Maker
  • The Dishonours List
  • The Ruling
  • A closer look at each of you

And the rest of what she wrote.

Free with your preview

Cards for your story

Every preview comes with a card to post. The full report adds one for the group and one for each of you, to send to the person it is about. Names, initials or numbers, and six colours: you choose when you save it.

  • A red story card reading I got read, with the report title about a made-up family's glitter rose dictatorship and the six epithets Auntie Karen gave its relatives.
    Free with your preview
  • A dark group card with the Tan Family Happy Happy title and the line-up of six made-up relatives, from the Dawn Glitter Dictator to the Mute Button With a Grandson Attached.
    With the full report: the group card
  • A pink member card for Ah Ma, called The Dawn Glitter Dictator, with one line about the grandmother who never sends the right day of the week.
    Ah Ma’s, in blush
  • A green member card for Second Uncle, called The Thumb With No Brain Attached, with one line about his traffic-light vocabulary.
    Second Uncle’s, in pandan

These cards are drawn from the made-up chat above, by the same code that draws yours.

Auntie has been busy

101,757Messages read
9Chats she has read
19People roasted
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Questions people ask before uploading

What is Auntie Karen?

An AI auntie that reads your chats and says what everyone was thinking but nobody typed.

Which apps work?

WhatsApp and Telegram. Nothing else, yet.

What does it cost?
  • Free: message counts, a preview and a share card.
  • Full report: from S$8.90 by PayNow for two people, S$14.90 for groups.
  • Groups of 3 to 20 people.
  • Card totals including processing fees: S$9.74 for two people, S$15.95 for groups.
  • Pay once. No subscription.
Who can read my chat?

Your export is encrypted on your device. Our own reader unlocks it in memory, and two AI companies, OpenAI and Anthropic, process it to write your report. OpenAI reads a selection for the free preview and every message for a paid report. Anthropic gets notes about your chat and the messages they quote, not the whole chat. Both are set up so they do not train on it. The details are on the privacy page.

How long do you keep it?

Your uploaded chat is deleted as soon as your report is finished, or within 24 hours if the report cannot be written. An upload abandoned before any purchase goes within 24 hours. Your report stays until you delete it. If you never sign in, it is deleted after 90 days. Deleting is immediate.

Can I share the report?

Only if you choose to. Nothing is public. You can switch on a private link, turn it off, or replace it.

What languages does she understand?

Chats in: English, Singlish, Manglish, Mandarin, Malay, Tamil, and chats that switch between them mid-sentence. You choose the language of the report when you set up. Reports in: English, Chinese (Simplified), Chinese (Traditional), Malay, Indonesian, Tamil, Thai, Vietnamese, Tagalog, Japanese, Korean, Hindi, Spanish, French. Quotes from your chat are never translated.

Is anyone in the chat told about this?

No. Nobody gets a notification. Only upload a chat you are allowed to share, and only if everyone in it is an adult.

Ready? Let Auntie read it.

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