What stage is this, exactly?

Six weeks of double-texting, counted end to end. She will tell you which of you is in this and which of you is being polite.

Situationship Talking stage Crush Ex Girlfriend Boyfriend Fiancée Wife Husband Friends with benefits Boys group Girls group Best friend Siblings Family group Cousins NS batch Uni group CCA kakis Work group Colleague Sports group Travel group Mahjong kakis
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The numbers, a preview and a card, free. Pay once for the full report, or don’t. Never a subscription.

How it works

What you actually get

A report worth screenshotting

This is about a chat we made up, and this is only the start of it. The preview on your own chat is free and runs a little further; the rest is one payment.

EXAMPLE A two-person chat we made up · 9 Aug 2026 to 20 Sep 2026

Ashwin and Chloe

The No-Pressure Pressure Cooker and the Rain Check Factory

AKAUNTIE
Auntie Karen

An AI auntie with no filter, too many opinions and an unexplained loyalty to Milo.

I have spent the last few days inside 4,150 messages of exclamation marks, cancelled reservations and one man submitting a full corporate proposal to a woman who keeps replying with a smiley and a prayer emoji.

You are not in a talking stage. You are not even in the talking stage’s waiting room. You are a one-man recruitment drive for a job she never advertised, standing outside a laksa shop in Katong at 7.30pm with a table for two, refreshing your phone like it owes you money.

Let’s read your application.

The Applicant and the Template

Ashwin: The No-Pressure Pressure Cooker

You are the only man in history to make the words no pressure sound like a ransom note. Your messages arrive like annual reports, with headings, ranked laksa stalls and a sign-off of no pressure!, a phrase that has never once been typed by a man without any. When she goes quiet you do not wait; you follow up, then follow up on the follow-up, like a debt collector with a lovely personality:

Make my own reportRead the full example report

The full report is S$8.90 by PayNow.

Still inside:

  • The Applicant and the Template (the rest of it)
  • The Trap: The Rolling Shortlist
  • Your Private Dialect, Translated
  • A Live Reading: 5 September
  • The Timeline
  • What You Each Wanted
  • The Ruling

And the rest of what she wrote.

Free with your preview

Cards for your story

Every preview comes with a card to post. The full report adds yours, with the name she gave you on it. The other person is never on a card. Names, initials or numbers, and six colours: you choose when you save it.

  • A red story card reading I got read, with the report title The No-Pressure Pressure Cooker and the Rain Check Factory and one epithet for the uploader.
    Free with your preview
  • A dark member card for Ashwin, called The No-Pressure Pressure Cooker, with one line about him. The other person in the chat is not named.
    With the full report: yours
  • The same member card for Ashwin in the light theme.
    The same card in light

These cards are drawn from the made-up chat above, by the same code that draws yours.

Auntie has been busy

101,757Messages read
9Chats she has read
19People roasted
WhatsApp & Telegram

Questions people ask before uploading

What is Auntie Karen?

An AI auntie that reads your chats and says what everyone was thinking but nobody typed.

Which apps work?

WhatsApp and Telegram. Nothing else, yet.

What does it cost?
  • Free: message counts, a preview and a share card.
  • Full report: from S$8.90 by PayNow for two people, S$14.90 for groups.
  • Groups of 3 to 20 people.
  • Card totals including processing fees: S$9.74 for two people, S$15.95 for groups.
  • Pay once. No subscription.
Who can read my chat?

Your export is encrypted on your device. Our own reader unlocks it in memory, and two AI companies, OpenAI and Anthropic, process it to write your report. OpenAI reads a selection for the free preview and every message for a paid report. Anthropic gets notes about your chat and the messages they quote, not the whole chat. Both are set up so they do not train on it. The details are on the privacy page.

How long do you keep it?

Your uploaded chat is deleted as soon as your report is finished, or within 24 hours if the report cannot be written. An upload abandoned before any purchase goes within 24 hours. Your report stays until you delete it. If you never sign in, it is deleted after 90 days. Deleting is immediate.

Can I share the report?

Only if you choose to. Nothing is public. You can switch on a private link, turn it off, or replace it.

What languages does she understand?

Chats in: English, Singlish, Manglish, Mandarin, Malay, Tamil, and chats that switch between them mid-sentence. You choose the language of the report when you set up. Reports in: English, Chinese (Simplified), Chinese (Traditional), Malay, Indonesian, Tamil, Thai, Vietnamese, Tagalog, Japanese, Korean, Hindi, Spanish, French. Quotes from your chat are never translated.

Is anyone in the chat told about this?

No. Nobody gets a notification. Only upload a chat you are allowed to share, and only if everyone in it is an adult.

Ready? Let Auntie read it.

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